I’ve been told that I’m fickle. And not by strangers,  but by people who really know me and swear to me that they care for me. So, I suppose I need to think about this a bit, painful as it will be. Let’s start with a definition.

Fickle – adj. Characterized by erratic changeableness or instability, especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious (capriciousness is characterized by or subject to whim; impulsive and unpredictable).

Changeableness or instability? Ew. That stings. Who aspires to this? If I’m totally honest with myself, I must admit that a lot of this really is true.  As I review my life, I do see lots of examples of erratic changes and impulsive attachments.  It is true that I’ve always had an incredibly difficult time making decisions. I double majored in Political Science and Communication as an undergrad in college at Auburn and became dual certified in Language Arts and Social Science in graduate school when I decided to teach. I’ve never enjoyed teaching the same thing all day long, so I’ve always asked to teach multiple subjects. I have focused on mastering teaching different courses throughout my career, then I move on. Early on it was Drama, Speech, and Media Production, then came Advanced Placement U.S. History, later it was cross-curricular English and history, then integrating technology in ALL subjects and PBL. Scattered in there I had a  need to go beyond the classroom with things like school-wide events like History Fairs and World Showcases and later co-authoring a book for national publication and implementing professional development programs for teacher training in technology. I’ve spent so much time focusing on technology that I can’t remember when it wasn’t on my mind. Most recently, I am obsessed with leadership.  I did spend 13 years in one school, but after that I’ve had a tough time staying put more than five years. From the inside, I’ve never really thought about how this might look, but yes, change is the constant in my life. If one knows my history, I can imagine that I must always look like a flight risk.

What about affections or attachments?  This one is tough to swallow. I have not maintained the same passions over my entire career. While that isn’t necessarily bad, I’d rather not be known as the kangaroo with slightly sticky feet. I love the tortoise. I understand the hare. I’d much rather be one of them. Not the animal that hops around as soon as the sticky goo wears off her feet. I can take great comfort in the fact that I am NOT fickle in my personal life. I am blessed with a truly beautiful twenty-year marriage to an amazing man. I don’t think my children experience sporadic affections with me. While I can be whimsical and impulsive at home, my husband and kids do not see that in me often. I don’t care for surprises and they know exactly what I will be doing if I have a free afternoon. (Reading or searching for what I will be reading next. Or working.)

OK. So, I’m partially fickle. Now to decide what I think about this. Is it a bad thing that I’m in constant need for change?  Why do I need a new challenge and constant motivation?  I suppose I get bored easily. In the midst of a new challenge or project, I can’t help but look ahead for what might be next. To be completely honest, I think about writing all the time. I’ve even written 25,000 words of a novel. If only I could find the time, I would love to find out if I could write something someone would care to read. I know myself well enough to know that someday I will find out the answer to that question. I suppose I’m cool with being a bit erratic and unstable. Professionally, I am impulsive, prone to hop off into unchartered territory at any time. But, I am not erratic with respect to relationships, devotions, and the deepest concerns of my heart and soul.

Thus, I am a sticky-footed kangaroo. But, have come to the conclusion that I am not fickle. Unless I change my mind about that tomorrow.

I am curious about something. 

Recently I took the Strengths Finder assessment. Wow. Powerful experience. Of course, validation of who I am is cool. For some reason, it made me feel good that a computer test could tell me what I really already knew about myself. But, it has done something else. I’ve really started focusing so much more on doing what I already do. Now, I seem to be doing it more. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve actually smiled to myself when I do something that is in line with one of my strengths. It’s like I’m taking a little daily dose of me and the side effects are pretty cool.

This sounds exactly like something teenagers should do. Imagine a world where teenagers see what’s great about themselves and constantly searching for things to do that they are good at doing that made them smile every day. Little too hard to imagine? Probably. Such a shift could push our world off is axis.  Let’s think smaller.

I’m imagining a school where that happens. What if every student in an entire school took the Strengths Finder assessment, learned more about themselves AND all of their classmates, and were provided opportunities to practice using their strengths in their school and community. What if students discussed contributions in their project based learning groups based on what they know of their own strengths? What if the basketball team, Key Club officers, band members, and the soccer team knew one another’s skills and abilities but also knew one another’s personal strengths? What could be accomplished then? Now, that’s not too big to imagine, is it?

Must figure out how to make this happen.  We only need about $6,000. Ideas?

Each of the members of the Project 24 team share experiences in the visioning, planning, implementation, and assessment phases of digital transformation. My piece focuses on the planning phase. Enjoy my article, Five Steps For Creating The Digital Learning Plan You Need.

This outstanding project is sponsored by the Alliance for Excellent Education in conjunction with other notable efforts, such as Digital Learning Day.

I have a better reason. I want more effective R & R because I want to enjoy life more. If that makes me a hippie, then so be it. I am going to brainstorm ten ways I can find the kind of rest and relaxation that will refresh my mind, body, and soul.

1. Read more books that make me laugh.
   I need to break out of my genre rut. I need some crazy stuff on my Goodreads bookshelf.
2. Exercise. At least a little bit.
   Let’s be honest — this one is a bit of a dream, but it could happen. I know I have felt so much better the two times I exercised. Must try really hard to do that again.
3. Keep my bedroom clutter-free, my sheets freshly laundered, and the air scented.
   I did a bit of maintenance on my bedroom recently and find that I really love being in their now. Must take this to the next level. Sleep is not just sleep – it must be great sleep to be really restful.
4. Get out of town.
   My husband and I love to hide out in the mountains for a few days after the end of his basketball season. It has finally ended, so I am pumped about this trip coming up next week! But, we need to do more short “day trips” more often during the year. The anticipation makes for a great mental escape!
5. Play more.
   In the same vein as the books, I need to laugh more. I’m not sure what sort of play activity will make me laugh, but I need to do a very strategic search.
6. Cook more.
   I am not much of a cook. But my family (two sons, husband) love to eat. In fact, they will do most anything for a great meal. My husband is well aware that he married someone a bit kitchen-challenged. But, I want my sons to have a few memories of their mom doing something special in the kitchen. Why would that be relaxing? Because I’d enjoy making them happy. And let’s be honest. Good food makes boys happy.
7. Work less.
   I work all the time. I never say no. Well, I rarely say no. I need to pay much more attention to the clock. It tells me everything I need to know about work but I just ignore it. Crazy. I look at a clock at least 20 times a day. You’d think that would be enough reminders to do what I really need to do not what I feel obligated to do. (I should move this to #1 on the list.)
8. Write more.
   Sometimes I have so many things bubbling around in my head that I can’t relax. I’ve started a novel and written ideas for other novels and short stories. I’m not sure if it would do me good to finish something or cause me to want to write more. But I do like how I feel after I’ve finished writing what was in my head. More of that would be cool.
9. Limit stuff.
   Social media messes with your life. Even in moderation, I learn so much on Twitter that I have to start using what all I learn. While that is a good thing, I don’t have to learn quite so much quite so fast.  And other stuff needs to be limited, too. I need to limit how much sweet tea I drink. It’s decaffeinated, but it’s sweet. That’s not a good thing. An unsweetened tea is just wrong. I need to limit how much we eat out (another reason I need to cook). We all wish for more time, but we already have it. We just spend it on the wrong things.
10. When summer arrives, I should swim.
    OK – right now our pool is green. Or it may be black. I try not to look. Either way, it will require extrication of massive amounts of leaves and other foreign bodies. My husband usually handles that. I must remind him to start now. But when summer arrives, I need to get in the pool. I don’t know what it is about the sun (Vitamin D, I guess) but it makes everything better. I must get in the water and soak up all the sun my mind, body, and soul needs. I can’t wait.

We have placed a strong emphasis on creating a college and career ready school.  While we have much to do, we are making tremendous strides.  Check out some of other things we are doing at CHS posted here.

I look forward to sharing more very soon.  For now, enjoy!

So here goes.

Five years ago I developed, launched, and began leading a teacher-led  technology initiative in my school district in Talladega County, Alabama.  I was certain this would work for a number of reasons.  A culture for collaboration  existed among teachers. (Not actual collaboration , but an eagerness to learn together)  The district administration trusted teacher leaders with the future of our schools.  (And began to trust us even more as time passed) We knew what we were talking about.  (I’m always amazed how easy it is to do something when you REALLY know what you are doing)

Today, I am astounding with our results.  We’ve changed the way teachers teach in Talladega County.  We have personally trained and mentored  over 65% of the teachers in our district. Those teachers have reached 100% of our teachers each year.  When you come to our district to teach, it is not only the expectation at you will integrate technology into your instruction, but that you will be provided (soon, if not immediately) with what you need to do it.  Teacher-led training and mentoring, equipment, support and vision is part of the package.  We have 553 certified staff and 7650 students, an average sized district in Alabama. We have 17 schools and serve seven distinct communities, each unique in needs, resources, and challenges. Yet, our result amaze me thus far.  Over the last five years our district math proficiency scores  have increased 20.75% and science proficiency scores have increased 27.5%. Last year’s graduation cohort increased 23% over the previous year’s cohort.  We have transformed two high schools into a 1:1, another slated to transition in January and fourth school in the fall.  We have many pockets of 1:1 by grade levels in other schools. Visit any Talladega County School and you’ll see equipment.  But that’s not what astounds me. As flashy and cool as it is, the technology is NOT center stage.  Learning is.  (Can’t wait to tell that story!  You’ll love it!)

Now understand, we are NOT a wealthy district.  In fact, we’d be pushing it to claim to be a “middle class” district. But the commitment is there. I plan to write more about our efforts in hopes that these reflections will help others while providing clarity as we grow.  I’d love to know your thoughts, as well.

There are many lessons in this story.  Something to chew on for now…. Teacher leaders CAN transform schools.  I look forward to sharing more about how this has happened in my world!

I don’t need a new path to make a big difference.  Over the course of the couple of years, I’ve found great inspiration in the fact that I am comfortable in my skin. I have no need to live my life in overdrive to impress anyone so I can passionately tackle the challenges that mean something to me. It’s not about me. It’s about empowering others.

I’m glad opportunities, options, and other paths are available. I feel the same way about shoes. When I find the perfect pair I don’t stop looking at other shoes. I enjoy looking around because it reminds me how great my decision was. After all, the perfect pair is about much more than the look. They must fit. They must make you feel something no other pair could make you feel. What I do fits me. I am a teacher. I don’t want to be anything but that. Even though I’m moving back into a position as a technology integration specialist this year, I am still a teacher. I know that no other role can replace how I feel about being a teacher. I truly value the work of school and district administrators as well as other valuable education professionals. I believe it is very important for me to remain in constant partnership with every stakeholder in education. As a teacher leader building bridges of communication with these partners can make a tremendous difference. I can speak up on behalf of teachers. But for me to do this, I must remain a teacher. I am truly happy with where I am.

Besides, It is summer and I’m about to go get in the pool and read a book.

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

I don’t want to ask these questions in my golden years.  What if I don’t like the answers?  I’d have little time, energy, or opportunity to make things right for myself.  I’m 45 years old and I think now is the perfect time to ask myself if my life “is everything I dreamed that it would be.”  So, I begin.

Why Digital Portfolios Have Become My Passion

I’ve done some digging and found a few things I wrote about goals and dreams when I was younger.  I will share those things in my next post.  For now, I’ve been thinking about a related topic.  I am quite jealous of all these youngsters growing up with a digital archive of their life.  What I’d give to have a accurate portfolio depicting my growth, perspective, hopes and dreams.  It’s really hard to conduct a mid-life dream check without accurate information from my formative years.

I’d love to refer to a Facebook timeline, a school blog where I had explained exactly why I hated Biology so much, or a Google Drive filled with all my high school and college resumes, papers, essays, letters, poems, and projects.  After all, we must admit that we remember things quite differently than the way they actually happened.  It would be so easy to make up what you wanted to accomplish or what you were good at doing.  I could just name the things I’ve actually accomplished and could try to fool myself that I’ve been successful.  Easy peesy!  But deep in my core, that won’t work for me.  I need to know what I dreamed.  If the purpose of this exercise is truly to conduct a mid-life dream check in order to redirect future actions, I have to begin with where I hoped I’d be.  I have only a school-girl diary, a tiny journal, and my memory for reference.  Not ideal.

Using Your Portfolio for Reflection and Redirection

I believe the process of self-actualization (becoming what you are capable of becoming) is deeply rooted in my youthful goals, dreams, and ambitions.  Though I didn’t know what I was capable of as a teenager, I dreamed big dreams.  Satisfaction with life begins with coming to terms with who I wanted to be.  I’m so jealous that I have very little evidence of who that was for me.

Imagine a world were EVERYONE has this sort of information as they mature. Imagine if it were protocol in every field for professionals to reflect on their life’s goals and dreams.  What if (within the context of their vocation/profession) these reflections were made in order to create plans to use their lives to achieve their youthful ambitions?  Am I crazy for thinking we should have that?  I can’t help but wonder what sort of innovation might be spurred, what problems might be solved, and what valuable perspectives might be gained.

A digital portfolio can make those reflections honest, thorough, and powerful.

Understanding Personal Needs

In some way or another, I have always found myself trying to understand people (and myself) along with my students in my English or history classes.  One way I help students understand human needs is to explain  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  I’m not expert in psychology or Maslow’s hierarchy, but this hierarchy has always made great deal of sense to me.

I find it useful on this quest to answer Switchfoot’s question.  Maslow analyzed characteristics of many who had reached self-actualization.  I’m not sure if these characteristics should be considered goals, benchmark measures, or what.  I simply find them fascinating.  If I’m going to seriously consider the answer to Switchfoot’s “Are you who you want to be” question, I must have something for contemplation.

Maslow found that they were:

Reality-centered: Differentiating between fake and real, dishonesty and truth.
Means focused: Not seeking just the end but enjoying the journey.
Problem-centered: Focusing on solving problems not bemoaning one’s troubles.
Self-sufficient: Not needing the company of others.
Deep relationships: What connections they had with others was deep and meaningful.
Autonomy: Not being driven by the deeper needs.
Socially aloof: Not being driven by social pressures.
Open humor: Able to laugh at themselves and life in general.
Acceptance: Accepting self and others without judgment.
Simplicity: Being themselves, without pretence.
Spontaneity: Reacting as themselves without pause to worry.
Respect: Accepting others as they are.
Humility: Not trying to be superior to others.
Ethical: A personal sense of right and wrong.
Openness: Being able to see things in new ways.
Creative: Easy identification of new ideas.
Peak experience: Achieving that state of nirvana.
(Maslow self-actualization source)

Teaching: Another word for Transcendence

I like that Maslow amended his original hierarchy with an interesting addition above self-actualization: Transcendence, which is helping others to achieve their potential. Now as a teacher and a teacher-leader, this really speaks to me.  It really isn’t going to be enough to know I did what I hoped to do as long as I live in a world where I care about the people around me.  It becomes about them, too. What will their answer to the song be?  If I can help them along their path, shouldn’t I?  Where do my needs end and serving the needs of others begin?  Teachers know.  It’s a beautifully complicated combination of the two.  We get it.  In fact, I think we got it long before Maslow thought of it.  And at its core, it’s the hardest part of teaching.  Not everyone wants to work to reach their potential.  But for us to reach the apex of our own hierarchy, we must motivate them to find a way.

Thoughts on Preparing My Answer

To become what we are capable of becoming is a personal quest for us all.  One doesn’t need to be aware that Abraham Maslow wrote a paper over 50 years ago on human needs to know that the needs are there.  Turns out that the lyrics to Switchfoot’s song resonate with most of us.  So, this is your life.  Are you who you want to be?  Is it everything you dreamed it would be?  Answering that question is something everyone will do, whether consciously or not.  Everyone will use some sort of standard and measure for reaching his or her answer.  I will use what I have – a diary, a journal, and my memory.  I will look at Maslow’s revised hierarchy and the characteristics of those who have reached self-actualization.  In the end, I hope to allow my heart to lead my head.

Then, I’ll work hard to build a digital evidence box for my End-of-Life Dream Check.  I expect I’ll be much less patient in my golden years and in need of a quick way to reference my life’s dreams.  Better a digital portfolio for half my life than for none of it at all.

1. I spent a year in a 1:1 classroom teaching World History (9th grade), 9th grade English, and 11th grade English.
2. I practiced many of the things I preach.
3. I failed to practice many more of the things I preach.
4. I’ve co-moderated monthly Twitter chats on the #teaching2030 hashtag.  It has quickly grown quite popular! (#8 on Edudemic’s 20 Twitter Hashtags Every Teacher Should Know)
5. My husband spent this entire school year sick.  Who knew that mono was so rough on us older folks?  Thankfully, he is much better now.  Although weak and tired, my precious husband surprised me with a post-Christmas trip to San Antonio.  Awesome.
6. I wrote a little bit this year.  SEEN magazine, Future of Teaching blog, EdWeek Teacher, Ed Week Teacher Follow-up
7. My oldest son got his driver’s license.  I don’t suppose I’ll ever truly rest again.
8. I was hired as the Technology Integration Specialist at Childersburg High School for next school year.  I will help lead the transition at this school to a 1:1, college and career ready/PBL curriculum, which I have been doing since March.
9. I’ve travelled to Arizona, Denver, and North Carolina to speak to groups of educators and work with other teacher leaders through my work with the Center for Teaching Quality.
10. I hosted the best post-graduation party for my nephew, Jacob.  It wasn’t the best because the food, decorations, attendance, and details were perfect.  It was the best because of how it made me feel to do it.  It’s up there on my list of “Things I’ll Never Regret Doing.”  (a list I really must write someday)